Naru's Boxers
by Drair
Summary: Have you ever wondered what color boxers Naru wears? Perhaps they are black, like his clothing? Or pure white like a maiden's heart? Or covered in yellow ducky wuckies? Read on to find out! And Review! Short oneshot.


**Naru's Boxers **

Mai was extremely bored. She was working at the SPR office, except there wasn't any work to do. There were no clients today, so all Naru made her do was make tea.

"Mai, tea," said Naru for the tenth time. Those were the only two words Naru had spoken to her that entire day. Mai was bored out of her mind.

"Hai," responded Mai, pouring a tenth cup of tea for him. Naru sipped the tea, and completely ignored her. He was completely focused upon the documents before him. He hadn't even looked at her once the whole day! Slightly put off by this, Mai exited Naru's private office and sat down on one of the sofas in the main room.

_Darn Naru_, thought Mai, _Why can't he at least try to make some conversation?_ She was SO DARN BORED! BORED! BOOOOOOOOOORREEEEEDDD!!!!

Consequently, she was not a little delighted when she heard someone knocking on the door. Perhaps it would be a client that would set the SPR off on a whole new exciting adventure! Mai ran to the door. She opened it. She was not a little disappointed when she saw that it was just Bou-san.

"Oh, Bou-san," said Mai, crestfallen.

"Hey Jou-chan!" greeted the monk cheerfully, "Why the sad greeting? Aren't you glad to see me?"

Mai smiled. Bou-san's company was better than nothing, and he was actually very amusing to be with. "Sorry about that Bou-san! Do you need something with Naru?"

"Not at all," said Takigawa, "I came to see you!"

Mai was surprised. "Why?"

"I was bored," said Takigawa. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. "I really had nothing to do today."

"I see," sighed Mai. "So you only come to see me when you're bored."

Takigawa laughed. "If you want to take it that way."

"Have a cup of tea," said Mai, pouring him a cup.

"Thank you," said Takigawa.

They sat and drank tea for a few minutes. Conversation was nonexistent. Now, not only was Mai bored, she was also feeling very awkward. She and Bou-san usually had a lot to talk about, but today was just a very boring day. They continued to sip their tea in silence. Mai was extremely relieved when she heard someone knocking on the door. Perhaps it was a client?

It was Ayako.

"Oh, it's just you," sighed Mai.

"I beg to differ," said Ayako indignantly. "What's with that disappointed sigh?"

"Nothing," groaned Mai, leading her to the sofas.

"Oh, it's just you," said Takigawa, looking up from his tea.

"Not you too!" grumbled Ayako. She sat down.

"Is there something you need from Naru?" asked Mai.

"No. I was just bored." Ayako leaned back on the sofa and majestically waved a perfectly manicure hand. "Entertain me."

"What are we? Trained monkeys?" complained Takigawa.

"Wish you were," said Ayako, "Then maybe I wouldn't be so bored." She accepted a cup of tea from Mai and sipped it. The three sipped their tea in silence. The atmosphere gradually grew more and more boring and uncomfortable and weird.

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

"Ah," sighed Mai, "It's probably Masako or John or Yasuahara."

"Probably," agreed Takigawa gloomily.

Mai opened the door.

It turned out to be all three of them.

"Hi Ayako-san, Mai-san, Bou-san!" greeted Yasuahara with a smile, "We three are bored!"

"We three are bored as well," replied Takigawa. "You came to the wrong place to look for amusement."

Mai poured the newcomers some tea.

The six people began to sip their tea in silence. Mai was beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

"Uh, that's a nice kimono, Masako," said Mai, trying to break the silence.

"Thanks," replied Masako, "It's new."

"Speaking of clothing," said Yasuahara, "I can see your boxers Bou-san."

Everyone looked at Bou-san, who quickly tucked a bit of red plaid material beneath his pants.

"You're a little old to be dressing like that, Bou-san," snickered Ayako, "Only teenagers run around with their pants around their ankles."

"I wouldn't be talking about age if I were you, Ayako," smirked Bou-san, "And despite being older than most, I can still pull this look off."

"I don't find boxers peeking out of pants very attractive," said Mai. "Some of my classmates do that and that's how I find out when the last time they took a bath was."

"I agree," said Masako. "It's too bad that many boys enjoy parading their dirty underwear."

"Hey now," laughed Yasuahara, "Not all boys do that. I don't, John doesn't, and God knows Naru doesn't."

Everyone snickered as they tried to imagine Naru with his boxers sticking out of his pants. However, they were unable to, due to one important piece of information.

"Does anyone know what color boxers Naru wears?" spoke up Mai.

Everyone shook their heads no. They had been wondering the same thing.

"Probably black," said Ayako, "He always wears black. His boxers are probably black as well."

"I for one, think it's red," said Takigawa. "Though he may appear calm and depressed on the outside, he may actually be a passionate tiger on the inside!"

Mai, Masako, and Ayako blushed.

"Maybe it's a yellow that used to be white!" suggested Yasuahara.

Everyone groaned in disgust at what he was implying.

"Maybe it's blue, to match his eyes," contemplated Masako.

"Why would anyone get underwear that would match their eyes?" snorted Takigawa.

Masako turned red and covered her mouth with her sleeve.

"Maybe it's pink," spoke up John.

Everyone stared at him and waited for him to explain.

"Er, well, I was just thinking that he might surprise us," said John, blushing.

"Oh, right," said Takigawa, "Haha! Naru in tie-dye boxers!"

"Naru in baby duck boxers!" giggled Mai.

"Naru in dinosaur boxers!" grinned Ayako.

"Naru in NO boxers!" laughed Yasuahara.

Everyone stopped and stared at Yasuahara.

"Actually," said Mai, "That's more believable. I can't imagine Naru in boxers. But then again, I can't imagine him doing normal things like using the bathroom or cutting his toenails or having boogers, even though I know that he must. Maybe."

"Yeah," agreed John, "We have to remember that Naru is human too, so even if he doesn't seem like he does things like that, common sense tells us that he does."

"Which means that he wears boxers, no matter how hard that is to believe," nodded Takigawa. "And if he wears boxers, that means they must have a color."

"I still think his boxers are black," said Ayako.

"Black boxers are hard to find," said Takigawa, "And I don't think Naru is the type of person to go out of his way to buy black boxers. He probably just grabs whatever boxers are on top at the store."

"I can't imagine Naru buying boxers," said Mai.

"But we know that he must," said Masako, "Because he isn't the type that would go commando either."

All the girls blushed thinking about it.

"That's it," said Takigawa, "Let's find out what color boxers Naru wears! The more I talk about it, the more curious I get!"

"That's dangerous!" gasped Mai. "Do you mean to say that you're just going to go up to Naru and pull his pants down?"

"Of course not!" laughed Takigawa. "We'll just put him in a situation in which he'll have to take off his pants!"

"Oh! I see!" said Ayako, "Then I'll just go into his office and seduce his pants off!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Takigawa warningly, "You'll go to prison since Naru's not eighteen yet and you're over twenty. He'll sue you and you'll be arrested as a sexual offender or pedophile."

"It's not like I'm going to go all the way," huffed Ayako, "Just enough to see his boxers."

"Then try it if you want to be humiliated," smirked Takigawa. "Naru's already rejected you before. What makes you think he'll want to take off his pants in front of you?"

Ayako punched him upside the head.

"Why don't you just ask him?" suggested Yasuahara. "Bou-san, I think you should just ask him what color his boxers are."

"No way! You go!" responded Takigawa.

"Haha! You're funny!" said Yasuahara. "I don't want to die yet."

"We have to think of a situation where people MUST take off their pants," said Takigawa.

"Like going to the bathroom!" spoke up Mai.

"Oh right! We can peek when he uses the bathroom!" said Takigawa.

"Pervert," snickered Ayako.

"That's actually a good idea," smiled Yasuahara. "Mai can just keep pouring Naru many cups of tea until he needs to use the bathroom and we can take a peek."

"Alright," said Mai. She got up and walked to Naru's office. "More tea Naru?"

"Fine," replied Naru, without even looking up. His eyes were fixed upon the papers before him. Mai refilled his cup. Naru drank a small sip. Mai refilled it again. Naru drank a small sip. Mai refilled it again. Naru drank a sip. Mai refilled it again.

"Don't you have some work to do?" asked Naru.

"This is my work," smiled Mai. She refilled his cup again.

"I'll tell you when I need more tea," said Naru, "I can't concentrate with you hovering over my shoulder."

"Fine," huffed Mai. "But don't you feel like using the bathroom after all those cups of tea?"

"I'll go when I need to go," said Naru, "And I need you to go away."

Mai walked out of the office, extremely ticked off. "Naru has a bladder of steel," she grumbled. "Or maybe he's a demon and just doesn't need to pee!"

"He's a human," said Takigawa. "Let me try."

Takigawa walked into the office. "Hey Naru-chan!"

"Bou-san," said Naru, looking up momentarily from his papers, "What are you doing here?"

"Just felt like seeing your handsome face," grinned Takigawa. "Hey, doesn't my whistling sound like peeing?" Takigawa began to whistle.

"I don't have time for this," said Naru. He shuffled through a thick packet of documents. "I'm busy with my research. Leave if you have nothing else to do."

"Why aren't you drinking your tea? Let's drink tea together! Lots and lots of tea is good for you!"

"Maybe some other time," said Naru, "But I really need to work."

Takigawa sighed and left the office. "Naru-chan is a tough nut to crack," he groaned.

"Look who's humiliated now," tittered Ayako.

"Maybe if we put something in his pants, like a snake maybe, Naru will have to take off his pants to get it out," suggested Masako.

"Oh right!" said John, "I have a pet hamster that has a tendency to crawl up people's pants! Let me go get it real quick and I'll let it go in Naru's office."

"Sounds good," said Takigawa. John ran out the door, and returned a few minutes later, clutching a small, golden-furred rodent. The diminutive furry creature squirmed furiously in John's grasp. Suddenly, with a mighty twist, it escaped John's grasp and leaped onto the floor, where it began to scurry around.

"GAH!" everyone quickly jumped onto the sofas. They did not want it running up their pants.

"Catch him! CATCH HIM!" yelled John. "Don't step on Hammy!

"AGH! Catch him!" yelled Ayako, "I hate rats!"

Takigawa dove off the sofa in an attempt to catch Hammy, but crashed into the table instead.

"Mai, what's all this noise?" asked Naru, walking out of the office. He seemed surprised to see five people standing on his sofas and Takigawa lying on the remains of the coffee table. Hammy began to run toward Naru's pant leg.

Mai, Masako, Ayako, Takigawa, John, and Yasuahara all held their breaths as they watched the rodent's progress across the floor. It was going nearer! Nearer! Nearer! Agh! It was reaching his leg! It was reaching his leg!

Suddenly, quick as lightning, Naru's hand shot out and caught the hamster.

The six schemers' hearts plummeted. Such a disappointment!

"Whose hamster is this?" asked Naru, examining the rodent. "I'm going to have to ask you all to leave. You're all being very noisy."

"Don't strangle Hammy!" gasped John. "He's my hamster!" He walked forward to claim his pet when Lin walked out of his private office.

"What's all this noise?" asked Lin, just as Naru released his grip on the hamster to place it in John's cupped hands. The hamster shot out of his hands like a rocket and made a beeline for Lin's pants. It began to crawl up Lin's leg, and everyone watched the squirming lump in Lin's pants move higher and higher.

"What's this?" yelled Lin, shaking his leg in an effort to loosen the animal. However, the hamster was too high up his leg to loosen easily, and it continued its ascent. The lump was precariously close to Lin's crotch.

"You're going to have to take off your pants!" cried Ayako eagerly, running forward to unbuckle his belt. She began to pull his pants down…

xx

Ten minutes later...

"Phew," gasped Mai, sitting down on the sofa, "That was really nerve-wracking."

The hamster was now safely in its cage, and both Naru and Lin were back in their respective offices working. The six conspirators were reclining on the sofas.

"I hope to never see that sight again," groaned Takigawa.

"Yeah," nodded Mai. "Who knew Lin wore thongs?"

Everyone winced as they remembered.

"Ah, well sumo wrestlers wear them all the time," said Yasuahara. "I suppose Lin wears it so it won't restrict his movements."

"That was still disgusting," said Masako, covering her mouth with her sleeve.

"I was slightly turned on," smirked Ayako.

"He's probably never going to talk to you again," said Takigawa.

"It was worth it," nodded Ayako.

"But we still haven't gotten a look at Naru's boxers," sighed Mai, "But I'm a little tired. I feel like giving up for today."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Just then, the SPR door banged open, and in walked Madoka!

"Hey everyone!" greeted Madoka cheerily, "I'm just here to give Naru some documents to help him on his research!" She looked at everyone. "What's with all the glum faces?"

"Nothing," sighed Mai.

"Hey," spoke up Yasuahara, "By any chance, Madoka-san, do you know what color Naru's boxers are? You've known him for quite a while after all. I'm sure you've seen them at least once!"

Everyone held their breaths and stared avidly at Madoka.

"Oh that!" giggled Madoka, "That's easy!"

"WHAT WHAT?" yelled everyone eagerly.

Madoka looked at all of them and smiled sweetly.

"Naru wears…"

"WHAT?" The six people leaned in closely.

"Naru wears…" Madoka seemed to be enjoying the attention.

"WHAT WHAT?"

"Naru wears…"

"WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

"Naru wears..."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"Naru wears SNOW-WHITE BRIEFS!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" The whole room screamed.

"Naru wears briefs?" gasped Mai.

"Naru wears briefs?" gasped Ayako.

"Naru wears briefs?" gasped Masako.

"Naru wears titey-whiteys?" gasped Yasuahara.

"Just kidding." Madoka laughed hysterically.

Everyone groaned.

Madoka winked. "You never know what people wear under their clothes! I guess you'll just have to marry him to find out!"

"Ok," said Mai and Masako at the same time.

**The End **


End file.
